Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
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you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
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I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.