turn off your phone and go to bed
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon