She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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