I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.