well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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