I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
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