you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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