before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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