I hope mine doesn't look like that
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
After tacos, we're chasing women.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
