u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
