He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
