what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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