Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
