so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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