Kiss
Puke
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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