PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
