actually, I'm a sock model
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
