That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize