call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
