I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
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LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
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I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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