You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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