I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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