I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
