this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
