I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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