i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
