Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
