I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize