she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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