one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
