1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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