If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
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Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
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At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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