dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
The air was thick with penises
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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