Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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