What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
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