Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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