Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
