they need to just BURY HIM!
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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