That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
