I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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