There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
