even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
