1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
