His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
