i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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