Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
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Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
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Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
So here I am, sexting at work.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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