Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
