so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
