It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
