All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize