I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
