why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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