The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
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He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
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I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Damn victory sex feels great
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