North Korea, Best Korea!
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
