they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Rumble strips road head = magical
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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