It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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