Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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