I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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