the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
