The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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