I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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