We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
