no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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