May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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