Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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