i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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