Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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