put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Randomize
